Sometimes...

I do that.
I freak myself out.
I need to remember that it's all in my head.
I need to get over my own insecurities and remember that there is NOTHING to worry about.

Worrying is stupid really.
It gets us nowhere and chances are, whatever you're worrying about, doesn't really matter anyway.

I'm a worry-er. I can't help it. It's all because I have a desperate need for things to be right and okay and happy. I'll sit and think about every single detail until I've driven it into the ground and pissed off everyone around me. I don't know why I do that.

I'm stubborn. I'll convince myself of something and won't rest until I've figured it out or I've been proved wrong. Somewhere along the way, I stopped trusting pretty much everyone. I think I just refuse to let anyone run over me. But thanks to this girl, this girl and this boy, I'm realizing that I can't always be a hardass.

"you have to just make a choice to blindly trust, if you care about someone enough"

"if you plan on keeping them in your life, there comes a time when you have to give them another chance, and let them 'start over' with your trust"

"it's a battle of self-control"

"you can change expectations without worrying"

They're all right. And I need to learn how to have more faith in others AND myself.
I'm just bitter about the past. Not any one particular event, but alot of things. Things I've allowed to happen. Things that probably weren't worth getting upset about in the first place. Things I couldn't control. I need to get over it. We weren't meant to dwell on the past.

I need to remind myself of my favorite quote.

That's what I tell others when they come to me for advice. Why can't I take my own?

I'm not even really sure what it is I worry about.

I honestly couldn't tell you.

My mind is never at peace and that's no way to live.

I'm not unhappy. I'm confused. But hey, who isn't? Right?

We're all alittle lost. We're all wandering around aimlessly. I'm just too damn axious to find a place to settle (in my mind I mean). And sometimes, I let myself get to myself. I allow my mind to take over and that is NOT a good thing.

I need to learn how to be stronger than my mind. I need to surround myself with things and people that inspire me and make me uncontrollably happy.

These are a few of those things:

this movie. this scene. it's everything i feel, all the time.

my saving grace and my best friend. i love you.i cannot get enough of this album or this band.
some things are good. some things are great. this is great.

vintage. need i say more? my sisters. they've come to my rescue more times than i deserve.this is just awesome. don't ask why.

it's good to have old friends you can always count on.
especially ones who are dreamers.

when i need to laugh, 30 rock is always there.

Love - AC

Summer so far...

has been amazing...

i flew away to this place.
& made friends with ducks in the caribbean.

on an island in the sun.
i took naps on beaches.

i set sail to places unkown.

& had fun with friends.

i took a big jump.
& made new friends (that weren't ducks).

there was always rainbow.

this little girl made me happy.

i got new babies.

& they're precious.

i soaked it up.

& found beauty in everyday things.

i let the wind blow through my hair.

my almost sister.
& brother.

this says home.
i took roadtrips.

with this boy.

& live music is always necessary.

so is blue moon.

sometimes i made my own music.

with these girls.

& then we took on the big city.

& met someone famous.

see?

i gave birthday kisses.

took part in bourbon festivities of corse.

& celebrated an annual tradition.

example: the bourbon walk.

it turned into a blissful night.

filled with laughter.

crazies.

& drunken debauchery.

like this.

i danced the night away.

& had a blast.

i found old friends in random places.

somewhere deep in the heart of new orleans.

which always results in happiness.

i cut rugs with boys.

& so did she.

then i cut rugs with girls.

& it was the most fun.

we called baton rouge.

& sang every word.

i grilled with friends.

& we drank to cool off from the summer heat.
we ate good food.

i spent lots of time with him.

& took lots of pretty pictures.

like this one: the cutest picture on the planet.

of corse there was music.

& lovely people.

i got my picture taken.

by him.

& this sums it up.

but i'm not quite done.

there's still more summer fun to be had.

Love - AC