eh...

...i had this whole thing typed out about what/who i can't stand but then i decided...nah, not worth it. but i'd really like to be able to stop thinking about the past and getting pissed about all the radom shit. you know when something bad happens and then all of sudden it's like you're in a whole other world where everything is bad all the time and you constantly feel awkward and isolated and everyone has banded together and you're just there...just lookin' at em? knowing good and well that you are NOT supposed to feel like that and that you ARE part of civilazation after all. yep. that's how i feel. basically, i was better off before. and some people are just bad. plain and simple.

so i'll just sit back and take comfort in the words of the great sophia petrillo..."people spend too much time wondering if the glass is half full or half empty...me i just drink whatevers in the glass." and 5 years from now, i'll probably make fun of myself for even caring about those other people in the first place. cause i mean part of it's all in my head anyway. and the other part is just stupid people being stupid people. so it's time to buck up and get out there and just stop giving a shit.

there. feeling better already.

ohmuhgahhhhhh lost! for real? you just went there didn't you?

ok so here's what i think. i still think that jacob is sayid. lennon and dogen said that they lied to sayid and that he really didn't pass the test. i think the tests they ran on him weren't to see if he was the man in black/smoke monster but instead to see if he was jabob. (if he didn't respond to the ash and the electric shock like the fence, then he was jacob bc if he did that meant he was the man in black) still don't know what the poker was all about though. anyway, they wanted him to take the pill so that jacob couldn't live in sayid therefore preventing a war between jacob and the man in black. dogen said that there was a darkness building inside of sayid which would lead us to believe that he is the man in black. BUT as far as we know the man in black is still in locke. also, the flare was shot to warn people that there was a danger of the smoke monster coming to the temple (i think). richard saw the flare and knew what it meant. locke said to richard "it's good to see you out of those chains". this leads me to believe that richard was a slave on the black rock. we saw jacob and the man in black sitting on the beach watching a ship come in (the black rock?). when richard saw the flare he knew what was about to happen and locke's comment about the chains was a confirmation that he was actually the man in black. SO yes, i still think that jacob is now sayid and the darkness that dogen was referring to was the war beginning between jacob and the man in black. he also told jack that it happened to his sister (CLLLLAAAAIIIIRRRRRREEEE!!!!!) i haven't decided if claire is good or bad yet. she shot an other. the others are trying to protect the losties now and claire shot one of them when he was about to kill jin when he thought he was trying to run away. so this makes me think claire is against the others which would make her bad. right? however, if dogen said it was the same thing that happened to her meaning the same person took over her body that would make her good.

my gosh....i have a headache now. we got a few more answers. but so many more questions. and i know that theory i just came up with is probably dead wrong. still. damn it!

p.s. this is where i find him e v e r y d a y.