Lately

i've been feeling the need to get further and further away.

i feel like that's the only way things will get better or progress in my favor. i need to start thinking about myself instead of what i want all the time. what i want isn't what i need but that's not my fault. the only way to get myself out of this situation is to pull myself out of it.

i've always liked the idea of picking a random city and packing up my bags and just leaving.

cities i've pondered:
nashville.
savannah.
austin.
new orleans.
jacksonville.
charlotte.
chicago.
possibly new york.

i don't know...maybe this is one of those quarter life crisises.
maybe it's not.

i need to get away and do something different for me. i need to make myself do something hard instead of letting myself do what's easy. i don't want this anymore.

as much as i love the little moments...they aren't enough to justify staying in this vicious cycle.

i can't keep waiting for something that's never going to happen and as long as i stay here i'm going to keep kidding myself into thinking it will.

i'm tired of talking about moving. i want to do it.

all i want to do right now is sit on balcony somewhere with my best friend and listen to m83.