well....hi

let me just start out by saying i'm sorry to about the three people that might actually read this. or did read.

i stopped blogging back in december. this wasn't due to any sudden anti blog protest or anything. i just stopped because i found myself in one of those quarter life crisis funks and had nothing to say and quite frankly, just didn't feel like it. the last you heard from me, i was getting ready for a night out with my family to see 'true grit'. well let me update you on everything since that day.

i left work, and then this happened.

that's right. i had a wreck. i was on my way to pick up my mom's christmas present before heading to ruston to meet up with the family for our movie night. i glanced down for one split second and when i looked up, i was sailing into the back of a suburban who had slammed on their brakes in front of me. the civic was totaled. when it happened, my air bag exploded in my face and i couldn't see anything. the next thing i know, the people behind me are pulling me out of my car. once i realized what was going on, i freaked out. i literally sat in the middle of east 70th crying my eyes out for a good 45 min while the emt checked me out and the cops questioned me. thankfully, i was okay and only came out with some pretty nasty bruises and scratches. it still hurts to bend my shoulder a certain way due to the impact of the seat belt.

i called my parents who were getting ready to meet up with us all in ruston. unfortunately, they live an hour and half away so i had to wait for them to come get me. they cancelled our movie night but i wasn't having it. i told them we were still going to see the movie no matter what. and we did. and it was amazing.

three car-less weeks went by. let me just tell you, there were some serious meltdowns and fights.

that experience completely changed my outlook on alot. ALOT. i suddenly realized how fortunate i was to have always had my own car. i found myself being so much more grateful for everything i had. not that i never was, just more so. i almost feel blessed to have gone through that.

fortunately, the accident was NOT my fault and i got enough back from the insurance company to buy a new car!

i love her. she is perfect.

but i can't say i don't miss my civic...what with her sunroof and 33mpg. i was emotionally attached to that car. and i actually felt sorry for it when we left it at the impound lot....

but what's done is done and i started out 2011 with a new car and a new job. a job that sends me flying in private jets should i ever need to go somewhere like say...dallas to catch a flight to the caribbean. not too shabby. and now here we are....new car. new job. flying in private jets. escaping to the caribbean to visit friends when i feel like it. honestly, my life rules. i'm so blessed. but i want more out of life. sound bratty? no....i'm just young and free and i want to take advantage of that. i want to experience the world while i've still got the chance to do it. i mean, do i really need another reason?

i just got back from my third trip to the islands to visit my friends.

cheers to that!

i went for a second time back in august and september and fell in love with it all over again. not that i ever stopped loving it and not that i ever stopped wanting to move there. it's funny how things come full circle. when i first started this blog, it was during my first trip to st. thomas. and now i've just gotten back from round three and of course, i still want to move there. i've made so many friends there and it has begun to feel like home. friends i will keep for the rest of my life wether they move off st. thomas or not. friends that greet me with hugs and kisses when they see me even though they met me once when they were drunk because they still remember me from a year ago. i love them and i miss them all on a daily basis. every time i go, i come back with five more friends. it's never the same trip twice. and i hope i can buy a one way ticket soon. i know i know....it seems like all talk because i've said it a million times before but in actuality, i'm completely serious. so what's stopping me? oh remember that new car i mentioned? there went my bank account.

but i've come to a point in my life where it's sink or swim and now or never. if i don't live out my dreams now, i never will. i've never been the settling kind. i'm someone who always needs a mission or a goal to work towards. when i graduated from college i felt lost and like i had no purpose. i'm making it my new mission to make travel happen. all my life, all i've ever wanted to do, was travel. whether it's moving to the islands or finding a way out of the country to do something meaningful. it may be a year from now or two years from now but at least i have a goal. and it may change and i may decide to do something completely different. but at least i'll have something to work toward. i need to not feel like like i'm doing nothing. so here's to being young and free!

things: the domestic edition

i have written alot of blogs entitled "things". they consist of random things i've found that i like or i find inspiring. this one however has a theme. because lately, the different personalities inside of me have been having a civil war.

there's adventurer me. and then there's the domestic wannabe me. OBVIOUSLY, i won't be domesticated ANYTIME soon. let's face it, frozen is the way to go because i'm too impatient to cook. but there lies my point. i want to be a cook. so i give you, things: the domestic edition.

as i was telling lauren last night, and my mom over the weekend, i want to be a good cook. and i want to be known as one. i want to be that person that is a genius in the kitchen and can just make anything taste good. i think this started to spur up when i was down in stt. i met three different boys who cook. and are damn good at it. (there's nothing hotter than a guy who can cook...just sayin'). that just made me feel bad because here i am...a girl who comes from a long line of amazing good ole southern (and japanese) cooks, and i can't cook a damn thing. except that one time i made snickerdoodles from scratch. but i followed a recipe. now, don't get me wrong, i've cooked things before. but i don't cook often and i'm honestly not good at it. there are two reasons for this.

one: i'm impatient. i like instant gratification and when i'm hungry, standing in the kitchen for two hours is not on my list of things to want to do.

and two: it's expensive. i know i know....there are ways to cook on a budget but that's not my point...cooking the things i would want to cook require crazy, exotic spices and throwing vodka in the pan and fancy stuff like that...and those spices would probably not get used that often so it'd be like spending $5 on something that i wouldn't use again for another few months. it takes a LONG time to build up a good spice cabinet. PLUS i'm single...and there is little more depressing than cooking for one.

i could find plenty of uses for the vodka however (i sound like a single drunk...i swear i'm not...a drunk anyway). but my point is, i want to be someone that has a kitchen filled with spices and every pot and pan and cooking utensil needed to make fancy food. that's domestic wannabe me. so from now on, in an attempt to ATLEAST become more domestically educated, i'm going to share a recipe with you once a week. 99.9% chance that it's not going to get cooked by me. but atleast i'll be learning something and sharing it with you. i may cook some of them one day. and if that day comes, i'll most definitely share my experiences with you...but until then, let's just talk about it. hey, atleast i admitted i was a wannabe.

(click that link right down there for....)

BLACKENED TUNA STEAK WITH MANGO SALSA

fresh tuna is one of my favorite foods. i don't eat canned tuna. because i'm a food snob like that. this from the girl who buys frozen foods. i'm so messed up. the thing is, i enjoy great food and would eat it often if i could afford it. i worked in a fine dinning restaurant at a country club for 4 years and i learned alot there. i just don't have the money for fancy things like that....but anyway, this recipe looks amazing...and really not that difficult. it just takes forever. i was drawn to it because of the fresh ingredients required and because it reminds me of being in the islands. i'm a huge fan of fresh mango and great tuna...i kinda wanna do it. maybe i'll go to my parents house (where the spices are endless) to cook it one day. awww dang now i'm inspired. weekend project??? not making any promises...but we'll see.

last weekend, my childhood best friend got married. MARRIED. i don't feel old enough to have married friends. and i've even got a few with KIDS....it's nuts. but anyway, the wedding was in dauphin island, alabama. my mom and i both went down and stayed at a b&b...we met up with jenny and carrie, both with their significant others. the whole time i was feeling like "....wow...this is so grown up and i DON'T fit in...but i kinda want to". i was surrounded by people with grown up jobs and people who have busy schedules and people who have a consistent routine and people with boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives and people who were alot skinner than me because they eat real food on a daily basis....and i just don't. it made me want to be better...and it made me want to have an important life with people who depend on me. so as a result of that, i've gotten back into the gym (i've slacked off since getting back from stt) and i've been trying to be more productive at work (which is hard when you have my job because once you're work is done, there is literally nothing to do). this is why i want a second job.

but like i said, there are two personalities inside of me and they are at war...i want all of the mature, domestic things listed above, but adventurer, immature me won't shut up...and let's be honest here, adventurer immature me is who i really am. except i really do work out. thank the lord above because i love the food that real domestic people know how to cook.

SO...last night, i was at barnes & noble looking for a travel novel...low and behold, i found one that basically sums up EVERYTHING i just said. so i'm going to read it.

"Laura wonders whether her passion for travel is interfering with what most women seem to want at her age: a husband, a family, and a safe, settled life." - laurafraser.com

“All Over The Map makes you want to pack your bags, explore the world, mend your broken heart, and totally reclaim your life.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Committed

......can you say nutshell?????

the v.i. part two...

the soundtrack from our week back in stt

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

and a few more pictures from the v.i.
some of them taken with my iphone and others taken by katie.
**never did get my camera back :( **

baby black tip shark at lindquist.

family picture at fat boys.


the boys took us out to dinner :)







prepping the boat before earl.


i miss it more everyday...
hopefully, i'll be back sooner than later ;)

a list.

someone once told me that i was able to see beauty in the world and in small things. it's true. i do find beauty in small things and an overwhelming since of appreciation for the world around me. call me deep, but i've always felt this way about life, even when i was younger. when i care about things, i REALLY care about them and they are more than important to me. sometimes i care too much and it gets me into trouble. but regarding life itself, i'm glad to care so much.

i watch the travel channel religiously. i daydream constantly of living out of a suitcase and seeing the world, filling my passport up with stamps from every country. i've always been the adventurous kind. i get it from my momma. she's been all over europe and to asia. i hope i can follow in her footsteps before i'm unable. i want to see and do EVERYTHING....because i think it's important to be cultured and well rounded. and i think it's important to understand other people from other countries. the world is there, just waiting for us to see it. so why do we just sit here and take it for granted? i want to meet people all over the world and learn about them and have friends everywhere. i have a bucket list that's a mile long and i'm scratching things off one by one.

but.

at the same time, i think it's also important to take note of what i've accomplished so far so that i can look back on my life up to this point and remember that i HAVE lived. because sometimes i forget that due to my massive ambitions.

so here is a list of things i've done in my life. things i think are important and things i think everyone should do before they die. small some of them may be...but even the small things help make life worth living.

i've seen the stars. i was watching a movie last night and the people in it had never seen the stars because they lived in and had never left new york city. i wouldn't want to have never seen the stars.

speaking of new york city, i've been there. it's new york city. everyone needs to experience new york at least once. they need to see times square where the world intersects. they need to see the millions of people living on that tiny island who come from every country.

i've seen the statue of liberty.

i've been to the top of the empire state building.

i've helped a blind person.

i played sports in jr. high and high school.

i've been a cheerleader.

i've built a snowman and made snow angels.

i've seen a shooting star and i've made a wish on one.

i've fed a hummingbird with my hands. i was eight. my dad and i sat on the back porch so still for hours just holding the feeder until they trusted us enough to drink out of our hands.

i've had a lemonade stand.

i've started and maintained a garden of sunflowers.

i've flown a kite.

i've played in a piano recital.

i've been to a broadway play.

i've been in a play.

i've found arrowheads in the ground from indians hundreds of years ago.

i've flown in an airplane.

i've been on a cruise.

i've been to graceland and saw where elvis ruled music.

i've seen bb king.

i've seen hulk hogan.

i've been to mardi gras in new orleans.

i've been to an nfl game.

i've been to an mlb game.

i've been to a weenie dog race.

i've seen the plantations of the south.

i've seen the the clothes and belongings of king louis xiv of france.

i've seen some of the works of andy warhol.

i've painted my self portrait.

i've skied. not very well but i've done it.

i've held a butterfly on my finger.

i've pet a shark.

i've been crab hunting.

i've caught a fish.

i've ridden a horse.

i've eaten octopus and squid and even lily pad pods.

i once grabbed an electric fence on a dare.

i've won a contest.

i've won a race.

i've met a man from africa.

i've had a conversation with a complete stranger at an airport about where they were going and why they were going there.

i've climbed a tree.

i've won a bet.

i've found $100 on the ground.

i've watched the sun rise and i've watched the sun set.

i once helped to save a baby owl that fell out of a tree. he didn't make it because he wouldn't eat. and i cried.

i've shot a gun.

i've had summer flings.

i've made a bomb and blown it up with fireworks.

i've seen where the civil war was fought.

i've had conversations with men who fought in ww2.

i've met movie stars, famous athletes and famous musicians.

i've been interviewed for the news.

i've played guitar at a nursing home for the elderly.

i've ridden roller coasters.

i've played in the rain.

i've built a fort.

i've made a pot out of clay.

i've stuck my head out of a sun roof while riding down the road.

i've made airwaves while sticking my hand out of the window of a moving car.

i've been to disney world.

i've been on a battleship.

i've jumped off of a bridge and into a river.

i've jumped off of the roof a barn and into a patch of thorns.

i've seen van morrison play brown eyed girl.

i've seen aerosmith.

i've been to music festivals like a modern day woodstock.

i've been in a hurricane.

i've been parasailing in the gulf of mexico.

i've been to mexico.

i've negotiated the price of a handwoven blanket with a mexican merchant in a small mexican town.

i've been to the cayman islands and fed wild stingrays with my hands.

i've seen dolphins in the wild.

i've seen sharks in the wild.

i've held a boa constrictor...i hated it. but i did it.

i've been to the yucatan and seen parrots in the jungle and mayan ruins in the distance.

i've been to the us virgin islands and i've seen rainbows over mountains after the rainstorms.

i've been paddle boarding in the caribbean.

i've been to the british virgin islands and i've seen the baths at virgin gorda. volcanic rocks the size of your house that blew up and made caves on the beach.

i've been snorkeling in the caribbean with fish that were larger than me.

i've taken a nap in a hammock between two palm trees and drank rum on the number 2 beach in the world.

i've seen the real treasure island.

i've driven on the left side of the road.

....i don't know...i'm sure there are a multitude of things that i'm leaving off this list but i do it unintentionally because i've done so many things in my life that it's impossible to remember them all. and like i said, some of these things are SO small, but that doesn't make them any less important. i think everyone should catch a fish or climb a tree and i know there are some people out there who haven't. maybe i just like the idea of being able to tell someone "i snorkeled in the caribbean today with giant tarpon" when they ask me what i did or what i'm currently doing. ring ring..."what are you doing?" " well...right now i'm boarding a plane to new york." or "i am about to pet a shark."

before i die, sky diving, visiting europe, asia, australia and all the places in between will be added to that list.

i guess i'm just an adventure seeker who wants to do everything and see everything. in high school, sometimes i would drive with no headlights on at night in the middle of nowhere just for the thrill (that's crazy i know). not that climbing a tree or visiting graceland or holding a butterfly is that adventurous. but i do think it's important to appreciate the smaller things in life that we've done. because after all, not everyone can see the stars.

missing...

st. thomas was amazing as always...i came back with:

new friends.

great memories.

another stamp in my passport.

no camera.

no pictures.

bittersweet.

my camera is now in the hands of some stranger. or flying around aimlessly on a plane somewhere. i don't know. it fell out of my bag on the plane ride back (i think) and i've been calling the airline everyday since i got back to ask if they've found it....of corse i wouldn't be so lucky. i can't even begin to tell you how upset i am about this. i've cried multiple times about it. 300+ pictures i'll never get back.

but aside from my camera being gone, this trip was just what i needed. and i've never been more in love with things, people, places....but i miss all of it. and i'd venture to say i miss it all so much that it actually is painful.

the first time i went to stt, i fell madly in love with it....and now, after my second trip back, that love is deeper than ever and it hurts to be away from it. literally.

what does it mean to miss something? someone? somewhere? lately i've been missing all of the above. and i don't know if this is a good thing or not. missing is painful. and i don't like to miss things. but i guess if i didn't, it wouldn't be nearly as sweet to see these things, people, or places again after long periods of time. missing is hard but necessary. thankfully i'm missing the right people...and not who you're thinking.

i wish i had pictures to show you....my pictures anyway...they were so wonderful. instead i'll show you a few of katies.

mojo's 30 min. after our arrival and looking pretty rough after a long day of flying. sweet little heath took us for margaritas straight from picking us up at the airport. what a dear!

laying out at secret harbour with katie and heath! fabulous day but hotter than the hinges of hell....

we relocated to the elysian to hang poolside...but then that got hot too...so we ended up having ritas...again.

a night out with the boys at hubbly bubbly and fat turtle. i love my baby.

katie's birthday present to me was a day in the bvi's.

virgin gorda.

guana island.

jost van dyke.

single greatest birthday gift of all time. hands down.

the view from heath's balcony. this is what i woke up to every morning. i don't hate it.

hull bay on the north side the night before hurricane earl hit.

heath's balcony during earl.

heath's balcony after earl :(

magen's bay just as earl was coming in. miss katie broke curfew and went exploring. meanwhile, i was back and heath's watching from windows and balconies.

the day after earl. katie snapped this heading back to red hook the next day.

a couple of videos i took out on heath's balcony during the storm.