monday @ 10 and before.

something is taking place. i'm not going into detail about what it is. i don't want to jinx it (which i know is stupid but still....) this is something that i've been working toward for 5 years and i'm praying for the right words to get me through it successfully. pray for me. i need this. pray that next week i'll finally be able to say that i became what i wanted to be when i grew up. and even if i don't make it through, at least it's something. something more than what i've been getting in the past. pray. hard. i need this so so SO much.

but...before monday @10, this weekend, i'm going to fulfill six dreams in two days. jazz fest, thank you for scheduling six of my favorite bands and musicians in one glorious weekend. i will enjoy you in the sunshine or the rain. i will sit on blankets with two of my loves and get lost in the blissful moments that surround me. the pretty music coming from all directions. i'm going to let it fill me up. there is little that i love more than music and friends. except maybe live music with friends.


i will see the following:

band of horses.

pearl jam.

old crow medicine show.

van morrison.

the dead weather.

and the great mr....

for years it's been my dream to see bb. i can assure you that tears will roll when i see him sunday. i believe that it is a great blessing to have the opportunity to see such an iconic musician.

i have friends who are taking leaps and bounds to improve their lives. this is inspiring to me. and jenny and lauren, i am speaking of you and your recent posts.

dear jenny, to simplify is to cleanse. and that is a healthy habit that i am taking from you and incorporating into my own life. making purchases based on only things that you love and don't just like is what i believe to be the key to preventing buyers remorse. thank you for teaching me that.

dear lauren, i want you to not dwell or worry on making the right decision, because in fact, whatever decision you do make, was meant to be. and it is all going to work out the way it should. as for relaxing and surrounding yourself with happy things, that is something that i try to practice daily. thank you for reminding me to do that today.

right now, i am growing. and healing. and making necessary changes. i am learning. i am practicing. i am teaching. i am waiting. and i am genuinely, not temporarily, happy for the first time in much too long.

"everything is going the way it should. if it were supposed to be going another way it would."